Two Holiday Parties

I was at two holiday parties this week.

One was the office party. It was bearable. I got three glasses of blonde, courtesy of my employer, so it wasn’t a total loss. I palled around with the same people I pal around with every day. But I got to drink beer while I did it.

There was no beer at the other party, no alcohol at all, no caffeine, not even in the soft drinks.

I wasn’t sure what I expected when I showed up Sunday afternoon at the annual AMIQuebec[1] holiday party. I’d never gone before, so this year I made up my mind that I’d be there.

I knew almost nobody, a few facilitators, administrators. There was a music man playing a keyboard, and people were dancing, awkwardly, but they were having fun. I parked myself and watched.

It was something I needed to do – to show my face, to be there, to show support. They were there when I needed them, the support group meetings, the one-on-one.

Back when, when I started going, I told my story and blew everyone else out of the water. I went to a number of meetings, told my story a number of times, and it was always the showstopper. How many kids!?? they’d ask Married how long?? At the first meeting there was a girl who looked like a blonde Carly Simon. She was struggling with bipolar disorder, had been in and out of treatment, was separated from her husband who had the two boys. She heard a bit and started filling in the details. I bet this, she said, and that, and I said how did you know, and she said I lived it. That was me, said blonde Carly.

This is not your fault they said to me, what should have been obvious. Get perspective, they said. You’re not alone they said.

Later I found more support online, and I made friends, and I get some personal counselling. But it was that first contact with AMIQuebec that turned my head around in the right direction. And I am their fan ever since.

There was a gift exchange, and I brought a cheap gift, and got a cheap gift back. I guess I stayed about 30 minutes.

I stayed at the office party longer, and I talked to more people, and I had beer, but that first party left me at peace, and with a strange feeling that my being there made a small difference in the world…


[1] Action on Mental Illness