Multiculturalism, Montreal Style...

Not All Lawyers Are Evil, Just Some...

I can’t remember the name of the gentleman whose personal injury claim was being handled by my colleague DG. “His kids have been apprehended,” he told me. “I’ll refer him to you.”

The client in question lived on a reserve, and had substance abuse problems. The kids weren’t exactly living with him but he needed representation so I got the Legal Aid certificate and opened the file. The initial hearing was scheduled in a makeshift courtroom in a town 300 miles northwest.

No email in those days. I had to use the phone. “I am representing him,” I told the crown attorney handling the file. She agreed to an adjournment for the particulars and the scheduling of a pre-trial meeting. I sent a letter confirming.

This was routine stuff, I’d get details of the case from the crown’s office, I’d meet with the client, and we would work out a strategy, perhaps agree to a temporary order or a permanent order with visiting rights. Or, who knows, we may oppose the application entirely. Much depended on how reasonable opposing counsel was, and on the attitude of the social workers involved.

A day before the scheduled hearing I got a call from a lawyer at the crown’s office, not the one I’d spoken to earlier. “You or your client must appear,” she said, or they would ask for an order in default. “You already agreed,” I said, “to the adjournment, you can’t very well change your mind now. “

“It wasn’t me,” she said, “we do work sharing, and there is no note on the file. Can you get your client to appear?” She must have been joking.

“Um, no. “ I said. “Not an option. And what you are doing, “ I said, “is unprofessional. You’ve already agreed, I don’t care what’s written in your damn file.”

She would not be moved and I was in a bind. What to do. I couldn’t reach the client and anyway he couldn’t be relied on. I couldn’t drop everything and spend a day driving to some town and back for a five minute court appearance. “DG,” I said, “what do I do.” “Call the duty counsel,” he suggested. Hmm.

Good idea. I managed to put the call through, “could you speak to the matter for me?” I asked. He was happy to oblige and the problem was solved. For now...

Well I fired off a letter to the crown that must have burned a hole through the postman’s bag. “Your position,” I wrote in what may have been my greatest moment in the practice of poisonous understatement, “comes perilously close to professional misconduct.” I ranted and I raved about professional honour and prejudice to parties to matters as serious as child apprehension, about lawyers with cavalier attitudes, about allowances for matters held in rural areas. In other words, I didn’t hold back. DG read the letter. “if anything, “ he said, “you’re letting them off too lightly.”

After a few days when the letter hit its target, I got a call from the crown. Before we take this any further, she said, you may want to investigate. I heard that your client died....

DG checked it out and it checked out. Poor guy kicked the bucket. For some reason I lost heart after that, didn’t pursue the bad guys in the crown’s office.

Too bad. They should have been strung up…

Lies My Sister Told Me...

Baby sisters are so wonderful, aren’t they? (Lies I Tell You, Lies)

Never one to accept a challenge, nevertheless I participate in this insanity. Things is, though, that I break the chain, and I am wholly unrepentant.

So, I hereby publish 5 statements, 1 of which is true, 4 of which are out and out lies. Figure out which is which:

1. I have a degree in engineering from the Sorbonne.
2. I have a haddock named Eric
3. I once had a lunch date with Marilyn Monroe
4. All my socks are blue
5. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.