Everyone rags on this city. Indeed he does.
I don’t. Not much. I like this city. But I can’t deny that living here can be a royal pain in the foot.
So here are some things that I don’t like about this place. Some are city specific, some are province wide; I don’t bother to diffrentiate.
Weather. Hey, I’ve was born and raised in this country, the only winter I ever missed was the winter of 1975 – 76. So It’s not like I’m not used to the cold. But here, it’s that melting – freezing – melting – freezing thing that goes on, making the sidewalks into deathtraps, while all the while these vile ice pellets plummet down on your head.
And then there’s the snow storms, last winter we had about 20, each one paralyzing the city. If you happen to have a dentist appointment that day, well then you’re lucky, but if you have a job interview, then you’re not so lucky.
And, well, cold. I’m from the praries. It’s cold there eh? Says everyone. It’s cold here too, I say. Not like there, they say. Yes like there, I say. Sheesh.
Which brings me to:
Services: let’s start with snow removal. This deserves a post unto itself. Suffice it to say that it’s bad. Very bad. The city congratulates itself each time on a job well done, and it makes public statements to the effect that the crews are doing an excellent job, and that they are doing it very quickly, and the truth is the opposite. They are doing a terrible job, and they are doing it very slowly. So traffic slows down to nothing, and parking becomes nonexistent. Heaven help you if you have to go anywhere.
Transit
This is like the little girl with curl, when it’s good it’s very very good, and when it’s bad it’s horrid. They go on stike, or threaten to go on strike, every five days. The Métro is great until it breaks down, then there are a series of announcements over the loudspeakers that garble everything, and anyway it’s all in French. But at least on the métro you get the courtesy of an announcement.
When you’re waiting for the bus, there’s no way to know why the bus that’s supposed to come every 6 minutes hasn’t shown up for half an hour. And then of course when it finally appears it’s so full that it sails right by. And of course this is most likely to happen in winter while the ice pellets are pounding on your head…
Parking Signs
Really this is No Parking Signs. On one side of the street it’s between 12 and 2 every Tuesday and Thursday from March 15 until November 22. Then on the other side of the street it’s every Monday and Wednesday between 10 and 12:12 from February 21 until September 22. Then you have to watch for registered parking. This isn’t easy to spot, but in some neighbourhoods you must have a permit, and it is indicated on the signs but it’s difficult to see.
There is a street in my neighbourhood which is a one way street, and there are no parking signs all along the right hand side of the road, then at the bus stop it says no parking until the bus stop, then after the bus stop it says no parking.
Everything here is in French, the stops signs say “Arrêt” and the French word for parking is “stationnement” but the parking signs all have “P”. Call the language police.
French: I don’t have any thing against French, not the language, though it’s impossible to understand, nor the people, but having to live in an environment where your ability to communicate is limited by language issues is difficult. I have run into very few people in this city who don’t speak any English, but they exist. And so I am talking to the animal control person, called out by our neighbour because of a gopher that happens to live in our backyard. But I don’t know how to say gopher (gaufre, apparently), nor do I even know that it’s a gopher, could be a groundhog (marmotte d’Amérique – I kid you not) and I get that he’s here to find and I guess dispose of the unwanted creature, but I can’t really talk to him very much, il y a un petit animal I say, there is a small animal, mais il se cache, but it is hiding, and that is the best French I can do. He goes away. Tell your neighbour I was here, he tells me. I think. I don’t really understand.
I’ve already mentioned the métro issue, annoucements I can’t understand, do I sit and wait? Do I get off and take the bus? Do I ask someone? Do I expect to get an answer if I do?
The premier, who is a Liberal, and who gets all the anglophone votes, complains that there is too much English spoken in downtown Montreal. If the premier of Ontario complained that there was too much French in downtown Toronto, he’d be roasted alive.
Pedestrian walk lights: being neurotic, I have this unfortunate tendency to walk when the sign says walk, and not to walk when the sign says don’t walk. That leaves me in a minority of one in this city, where people tend to stampede across the city without regard for lights, traffic, weather, astrology, anything. I told someone not long after I arrived, when it says don’t walk, I don't walk, if nothing else I am making a statement. The only statement you’re making, says he, is that you are from out of town. But that’s not what I hate. What I have difficulty with is this. Not every traffic light has a pedestrian light, and those that do are highly inconsistent. Usually all four directions say walk at the same time, making it impossible to cross both ways in one go. And the busiest and widest corners, like the ones on Réne Levesque Blvd which I cross every day going to and from work, have none. So you step off the curb when the light is green, and I have no idea how long it’s been green, and chances are that it turns yellow, and then red, and I’m only half way across, and do I have a prayer book with me.
Animals. Okay, I don’t mind the gophers. But I could do without the skunks…
I don’t. Not much. I like this city. But I can’t deny that living here can be a royal pain in the foot.
So here are some things that I don’t like about this place. Some are city specific, some are province wide; I don’t bother to diffrentiate.
Weather. Hey, I’ve was born and raised in this country, the only winter I ever missed was the winter of 1975 – 76. So It’s not like I’m not used to the cold. But here, it’s that melting – freezing – melting – freezing thing that goes on, making the sidewalks into deathtraps, while all the while these vile ice pellets plummet down on your head.
And then there’s the snow storms, last winter we had about 20, each one paralyzing the city. If you happen to have a dentist appointment that day, well then you’re lucky, but if you have a job interview, then you’re not so lucky.
And, well, cold. I’m from the praries. It’s cold there eh? Says everyone. It’s cold here too, I say. Not like there, they say. Yes like there, I say. Sheesh.
Which brings me to:
Services: let’s start with snow removal. This deserves a post unto itself. Suffice it to say that it’s bad. Very bad. The city congratulates itself each time on a job well done, and it makes public statements to the effect that the crews are doing an excellent job, and that they are doing it very quickly, and the truth is the opposite. They are doing a terrible job, and they are doing it very slowly. So traffic slows down to nothing, and parking becomes nonexistent. Heaven help you if you have to go anywhere.
Transit
This is like the little girl with curl, when it’s good it’s very very good, and when it’s bad it’s horrid. They go on stike, or threaten to go on strike, every five days. The Métro is great until it breaks down, then there are a series of announcements over the loudspeakers that garble everything, and anyway it’s all in French. But at least on the métro you get the courtesy of an announcement.
When you’re waiting for the bus, there’s no way to know why the bus that’s supposed to come every 6 minutes hasn’t shown up for half an hour. And then of course when it finally appears it’s so full that it sails right by. And of course this is most likely to happen in winter while the ice pellets are pounding on your head…
Parking Signs
Really this is No Parking Signs. On one side of the street it’s between 12 and 2 every Tuesday and Thursday from March 15 until November 22. Then on the other side of the street it’s every Monday and Wednesday between 10 and 12:12 from February 21 until September 22. Then you have to watch for registered parking. This isn’t easy to spot, but in some neighbourhoods you must have a permit, and it is indicated on the signs but it’s difficult to see.
There is a street in my neighbourhood which is a one way street, and there are no parking signs all along the right hand side of the road, then at the bus stop it says no parking until the bus stop, then after the bus stop it says no parking.
Everything here is in French, the stops signs say “Arrêt” and the French word for parking is “stationnement” but the parking signs all have “P”. Call the language police.
French: I don’t have any thing against French, not the language, though it’s impossible to understand, nor the people, but having to live in an environment where your ability to communicate is limited by language issues is difficult. I have run into very few people in this city who don’t speak any English, but they exist. And so I am talking to the animal control person, called out by our neighbour because of a gopher that happens to live in our backyard. But I don’t know how to say gopher (gaufre, apparently), nor do I even know that it’s a gopher, could be a groundhog (marmotte d’Amérique – I kid you not) and I get that he’s here to find and I guess dispose of the unwanted creature, but I can’t really talk to him very much, il y a un petit animal I say, there is a small animal, mais il se cache, but it is hiding, and that is the best French I can do. He goes away. Tell your neighbour I was here, he tells me. I think. I don’t really understand.
I’ve already mentioned the métro issue, annoucements I can’t understand, do I sit and wait? Do I get off and take the bus? Do I ask someone? Do I expect to get an answer if I do?
The premier, who is a Liberal, and who gets all the anglophone votes, complains that there is too much English spoken in downtown Montreal. If the premier of Ontario complained that there was too much French in downtown Toronto, he’d be roasted alive.
Pedestrian walk lights: being neurotic, I have this unfortunate tendency to walk when the sign says walk, and not to walk when the sign says don’t walk. That leaves me in a minority of one in this city, where people tend to stampede across the city without regard for lights, traffic, weather, astrology, anything. I told someone not long after I arrived, when it says don’t walk, I don't walk, if nothing else I am making a statement. The only statement you’re making, says he, is that you are from out of town. But that’s not what I hate. What I have difficulty with is this. Not every traffic light has a pedestrian light, and those that do are highly inconsistent. Usually all four directions say walk at the same time, making it impossible to cross both ways in one go. And the busiest and widest corners, like the ones on Réne Levesque Blvd which I cross every day going to and from work, have none. So you step off the curb when the light is green, and I have no idea how long it’s been green, and chances are that it turns yellow, and then red, and I’m only half way across, and do I have a prayer book with me.
Animals. Okay, I don’t mind the gophers. But I could do without the skunks…
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