The first thing I ever bought on EBay was a Hollies album called Buddy Holly. I bought the vinyl LP, one of the last 4 I ever bought. And I have since gotten the CD, also on EBay.

The album was released in 1980, and it was the last LP ever released by the Hollies as they had evolved up to that point. Is it good? Imagine what The Hollies would sound like doing Buddy Holly. Now imagine the opposite. No, it's not particularly good.

Does it matter? No. Not really.

See, I'm a Hollies fan. I don't have every album they ever released. The ones I don't have are available as imports and cost around $30 on Amazon, more than I can spend on a CD right now.

In 2000 Alan Zweig made a documentary movie called Vinyl, in which he featured the lives and eccentricities of various record collectors in various mostly Canadian cities. The movie is grungy, neurotic, claustrophobic, and fascinating. The characters, including Zweig himself, come off as various shades of bizarre. They live in rooms with records and records and records. None are married; one is in a relationship and he is seen as being the oddball.

And the thing is that no matter how much they insist that they are driven by the love of music, the fact is that they are not driven by the love of music. They are simply driven. There is no way, no way ever, that they could ever listen to everything they own.

I can relate to those guys. My wife and I watched this movie a few years ago, and she looked at me and said you know, there but for me goes you. Probably.

I don't do it so much anymore, but I have spent more hours than I care to admit in second hand music shops (and second hand shops generally) digging and searching, getting dusty and losing myself in the thrill of the hunt. Finding that record you've been looking for and looking for, there are no words to describe it.

As I say, I don't do it so much anymore. Why not? Because it's getting to where I don't have enough years left to listen to what I have. And vinyl - I've finally admitted defeat. My equipment is dying, and I just don't have the wherewithal to resurrect it. Hunting for CDs is just not the same.

But for me it's about the music. It's about good music and bad music.

See I like the Hollies. And so I'm willing to forgive them the occasional lapse. I see the bad albums and the good albums as part of a whole, the Hollies whole. It's like we're friends. So what if they have a bad day? Some times having a bad time with a friend than is better than having a good time with a stranger.

And about those albums I don't have yet - my birthday is in March…

Us vs. "Them"

Where do we stand on the use of the “they” and “them” for third person singular? It seems that it’s becoming standard: “Each user must enter their username and their password.” In that sentence I would use “his:”

Each user must enter his username.

The problem obviously is a gender issue. We feel that “his” somehow excludes the females among us. I think that until some time recently it was generally conceded that “he,” “his,” etc were universal pronouns, and “she” was subsumed under “he.” In today’s world, this, apparently, will no longer do.

I have, of course, seen “she” used as a universal pronoun, but I will say no more about it.

There are unquestionably certain cases where the masculine would be awkward - books on marriage, for example. “Always remind your spouse how much you care for them.” Using “him” in this context suggests that the advice only applies to wives, while using “him or her” becomes onerous after a bit. At the same time, use of the gender-neutral can become silly. “If the patient is pregnant, they must tell the staff immediately.”

Then we get into collective nouns, like “company” and “group.” I often see things like “the company filed their annual report.” I don’t think so. “Company” is an “it,” not a “they.” But you have, say, “the board met on Monday morning, and they discussed the annual budget.” “It discussed the annual budget” doesn’t sound right at all. (Of course you could omit the pronoun altogether, but then I wouldn’t have my example.)

The group is touring North America. They are playing better than ever. Or “it” is playing better than ever?

And what about “everyone” and “everybody.” Both words are technically singular. “Everyone has one” not “everyone have one.”

Nothing wrong with “everyone has his favourite” but one will more often encounter “everyone has their favourite,” which, or course, brings us back to the use of singular “they.”

Or perhaps not. “Everyone left the building before the fire started, and he was glad he did” is grammatically correct, but downright silly. That leaves the grammatically neurotic among us wringing our hands; the only solution is to reframe the sentence: “Everyone left the building before the fire started, except one guy, who was too immersed in Strunk and White to notice.”

à louer

We got a message on our voicemail:

“Sorry the apartment is rented.”

Five words, no identity, no address.

This is what it’s like looking for a house in Montreal.

The first thing you have to do is decipher the classifieds. Each dwelling is identified by an esoteric number, meant to represent the number of rooms. So a bachelor may want a 2 ½ or a 3 ½ , a family will look for a 5 ½ or a 6 ½, depending of course on the number of people. In theory, a 6 ½ has 6 rooms, not counting the bathrooms. It could have 15 bathrooms – it’s still a 6 ½.

In reality of course there is usually no correlation between the number they give you in the ad and the actual number of rooms in the house. We look for a 7 ½ and up, but that’s just the start. These ads typically have very little information. What you see is:

7 ½ lower duplex, near Metro, appliances, unheated, July 1

No address, no rent. How many bedrooms? Garage? Basement?

And unheated. I love that. That doesn’t mean that there is no heat. Can’t have that in Canada. It means that the tenant pays for the heat. That’s good to know, but kind of meaningless where the rent isn’t stated.

So it’s to the phone we go. Make a list of possibilities, then start calling.

First, there are those who don’t return messages. I guess they’re not so eager to rent.

Then there are those who don’t know anything, or who can’t make arrangements for viewing.

“It’s my sister’s place; I really don’t know too much about it.”
“Can we see it?”
“I don’t know, I will have to call the tenant and see when she is home.”
“Could you call me back?”
“Of course not, that would be too easy wouldn’t it?”

And there are the landlords who refuse to tell you anything.

“Hi you have a duplex for rent?”
“Yes we do…”
“How many bedrooms?”
“How many people is it for?”
“It’s for my family. How many bedrooms are there?”
“How many people in your family?”
“Me and my wife and my kids. How many bedrooms?”
“How many kids?”
“How about if you let us come and see it?”
“How many people is it for?”

Not all ads are in the paper. Often there are signs on houses. I saw one such sign about 5 weeks ago. It said “à louer: 6 ½ or 3 ½.” That’s good I thought; we could take both. So I call up and the lady tells me Sorry the apartment is rented. Fair enough.

This past weekend I noticed a sign up that said “à louer: 6 ½ or 3 ½..” So I went home and called, and when I heard the voicemail I realized that it was the one I’d called before. So why were the signs still up I wondered. Could be the lease fell through. So anyway I left them a message and they did call back. Left us a message. “Sorry the apartment is rented.” It’s amazing that I actually knew to which “apartment” she was referring.

(That’s another thing. There is a breed of people out there who refer to all residential rental units as “apartments.” You could be renting Buckingham Palace; it’s a “apartment.”)

Sunday there was an ad for house with 2 units. And the lady on the phone gave me the address, and told me to come between 2 and 4. “There’s an open house” she said. She even gave me directions. This is too good I thought.

It was. I went at 2:30. The house existed, but there was no “for rent” (or “à louer”) sign, and nobody answered the door. Maybe I had the address wrong. I didn’t take the phone number with me – not too smart that. So I anyway I trooped up and down the street looking for the right house, and I came upon a house at the end of the block with a sign, 2 units. Maybe this is it. I knock. An old lady comes. She says no there is no open house. Can I look anyway? I’m here. She says how many people.

“For my family.”
"How many in your family?"
"Not too many. Can I see your house?"
"Not too many? How many?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know how many kids you have?"
"Some many be leaving home. We don't know yet. Can we see the house?"
“Where is your wife?”
“She ran off with the TV repairman. Now can I see your damned house???”
"I think it's too small for you......"

Images of Boucherville